Articles

Relationships are for Losers

The title might sound alarming; fear not, you will understand the context as you read on. Imagine you are driving a lorry on a narrow road, and you can see another similarly huge lorry coming on the other side. What do you do? Do you press the accelerator pedal and hope the other guy gives way, slow down and try negotiate to give way, or slow down and hope you are given way? That is exactly how relationships are.

                   

When you enter into a relationship, more often than not you realize that the interests of "I" come second to "we". It is no longer about what makes you comfortable, but the compromise that enables both of you to be equally uncomfortable. It I not about what makes you happy as a person, but what makes the other person happy and that you can live with. It is simply not about you anymore, but about both of you for a long as you can tolerate. The relationship we all admire; marriages, friendships and working relationships, all have one thing in common; there is a mutual compromise to achieve a unitary goal. 

Today, communication technology has ensured virtual presence in a way that has diffused the meaning of physical presence. In real life, being in a relationship with someone is way harder than texting. It takes energy and time and effort. There are times when neither of you has anything to say, and times when you have a catalogue of tales. There are times when emotions will be involved and misunderstandings arise. The hardest part is unlike a text, you cannot choose to ignore. Indeed, relationships are not for the faint at heart. 

We need t re-hone our conflict resolution skills if we are to have any hope of being in relationships. This is because most people fear conflict especially in relationships. When confronted with an issue, we would rather fumble for an excuse and then bail out completely hence breakups become the norm. We come and go in people's lives with the ease of breathing, forgetting that relationships are about investing in time, effort and energy. It need one to be willing to withstand the rain and muddle through the murky waters.

To sum it up, relationship are for losers. People willing to be uncomfortable with someone else. People who value the happiness of their partner to their own. Those willing to sacrifice for their partner and expect no honorable mentions or accolades. People willing to invest in other people. People willing to be a unit than a pair. If two losers are in a relationship, imagine how happy they would be.