How do I resist my partner’s pressure to have sex?

First of all, know that what you are going through is common. Many people, particularly girls, are pressured by their partners to have sex.

Despite what you might have been told, there is nothing wrong with waiting until you feel ready. 

It is actually a very sensible and mature decision to wait; the only problem is that your partner doesn’t like it.

The same arguments are used over and over again in these situations. It can be helpful for you to have an idea of what might come and to prepare for it.

Here are some of the most common ways of pressuring a partner into having sex:

1. Claiming that the desire to have sex is overwhelming: “I want you so much that I can’t wait anymore” or “I want you so much that it hurts” or “I can’t think of anything else but being one with you.”
2. Easing your concerns by telling you that you’ll be in full control: “i’ll be very gentle, and i’ll stop as soon as you want me to.”
3. Telling you that sex would be good for you as a couple: “It will make us so much closer.”
4. Minimizing the importance of sex: “It’s not the big deal you think it is” or “Everybody’s doing it” or “It’s a natural thing.”
5. Questioning your love: “If you really loved me, you would do it.”
6. Threatening to break up with you: “If you don’t want to do it, i’ll find someone who does.”

Whatever approach your partner takes, always remember that the decision to have sex must be yours and yours only, and that pushing you to do something you don’t feel ready for is not a way to show love.

Reassure your partner that you love him or her very much. Then firmly state that sex is a very big step for you and you don’t feel ready for it yet. 

Add that you know you would never enjoy something you have been pushed to do. 

You might also consider mentioning that there are many other things you and your partner could do to become more intimate and to give each other pleasure.

Depending on the situation, you might also want to tell your partner that many people you know are not having sex yet, or that some of your friends, despite what they say publicly, wish they had waited longer.

Finally, if your partner stoops so low as to threaten to leave you or to question your love, you could reply by turning the argument around and saying that a partner who really loves you would give you the time you need. 

But in all honesty, if you are in a relationship with somebody who can be that disrespectful, you should ask yourself if the relationship is worth it.