Jessica: Love, Heartbreak and Trust
Meeting my guy
When I was 16, I finally got into a relationship with a guy. My first boyfriend, I was so excited. I loved him, and I thought he loved me too. Everything went as I expected, and we had a lot of fun initially. At first, we would have sex using protection, but as we got to know each other better, we stopped. As bad luck would have it, I got pregnant. I got stressed, not knowing what to do with the pregnancy. When I told him about the pregnancy, I thought he would be thrilled, but instead, he said that he was not ready for it and feared what his parents would say.
The other shoe dropped.
The blame was now on me, not realizing it takes two to tango. I did not know what to do. I felt so alone. He told me to go for an abortion, which I did not want. After much thought and convincing, I got an abortion. I felt ashamed and guilty for going against my faith and my beliefs.
I did not tell anyone about my abortion. I kept it a secret till today; nobody knows. We picked as if nothing had ever happened. We continued our relationship for about a month before I started seeing changes in him. He stopped calling like he used to, stopped texting and if he did, it was one word. He felt detached. I finally decided to ask the reason for his behaviour. He said, “I want to settle”. I want to settle what does that mean? Questions filled my head, one of them being, does he not want to settle with me? Later that day, he decided to post a girl on his social media. Of course, this was the girl he was cheating on me with. It was such passive aggressive move on his part. He later called me, and we broke up. I, of course, did not argue with him. I was done.
I was devastated remembering what I’d been through with him and what I had to do. My heart broke.
I was a fool for ever trusting him and regretted dating a lot. I was scared and could not see myself with anyone ever again. I needed to heal from this relationship. Luckily I knew about 1190 and decided to call them. They were able to counsel me and help me through the breakup. I even later started a new healthy relationship. Not forgetting about the past but learning from it. I always use protection when engaging in sexual activity to prevent contracting HIV, getting STIs and unplanned pregnancies.