Get Informed Topics Love & Relationships Flirting EYE CONTACT AND FLIRTING


Eye contact is one of the most common ways to flirt with somebody. If you look at another person, unless you are randomly scanning your environment, you are doing it because you have some sort of interest in or curiosity about that person

Once the person notices your interest, he or she will most likely look back at you. 

If you hold the eye to eye connection for a few seconds rather than looking away, you are making eye contact with that person

By making eye contact you are not only confirming some sort of interest in the other person but also showing that you want the person to know about it. 

For many people, this is a strong enough message to justify coming to talk to you, which takes flirting to the next level. 

If the situation isn’t ideal for a first chat – for example, if you have several friends with you or you are at a noisy party- the other person might wait for a better opportunity to approach you. 

Eye contact can be useful in other situations too. For example, when somebody you find interesting is passing by and you have just a second to get noticed, or during a group conversation when you are trying to get the attention of a particular person without interrupting anyone. 

The crucial point about eye contact is to control the amount of time you hold it. Two or three seconds of eye-to-eye contact ideally combined with a gentle smile will be more than enough to get your message across. After that, just simply look away

A minute later you might want to follow up with another few seconds of eye contact, just to make sure the other person got the message and doesn’t think you looked at each other by chance. 

Too much eye contact is counterproductive. If you look at the other person too many times or for too long, you might seem overbearing and creepy.  

What if eye contact goes well?

Let’s say you have made sustained contact with someone you like, not just once but two, three, or even four times, and maybe one of those times you exchanged a smile. 

You now know two things

  1. The other person noticed your interest 
  2. There is a good chance the other person doesn’t mind it. 

You can never be 100 percent sure of what the other person is thinking, but if there had been no interest at all, he or she would have simply stopped looking your way. 

At this point, you have sufficient evidence to make your move. 

Continuing with eye contact would be too boring and repetitive. You have already sent that message 

If you do nothing at all, the person you like might start wondering if you know what you are doing, if you are too shy to make a move or if you are just fooling around. Doing nothing will reduce your chances of success. 

So once you have gotten a green light through eye contact, stop looking for more positive feedback and do something. 

If the moment seems right, just walk over and say hi. And stay relaxed; there is no reason to get tense.

It’s really not a big deal. All you are doing is walking over to somebody who looks fun and interesting and seems to be fun in the mood for a friendly chat. 

If you feel the moment isn’t right, then stop looking and do something else. Turn away and start talking to a friend or act like you got a phone call. Just break the connection and save your chances for next time. 

Did you learn something?

Frequently Asked Questions

Male Body

1 questions

See frequently asked questions on Male Body

All about contraceptives

2 questions

See frequently asked questions on All about contraceptives


2 questions

See frequently asked questions on Relationships

Top Topics

Let's Talk

Facts, tips, stories and common questions

Go to Forum