Online dating and Heartbreaks - Drew 16

"There was nowhere to go."
When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, it was a tough time for everyone. The hardest part for me was being confined to the comfort of my parent's house. Everything was different, and there was little to no physical interaction with other people, which was a significant change because I was always free to go places and hang out with my friends all my life. Still, because of the pandemic, there was nowhere to go. I was at home all day, all night, all week, all month!

Reconnecting with my online community
I slowly started to get used to this new normal and resorted to being more active online because that was how everyone connected with the world then. Previously, I was not too busy on social media, but I now spend most of my time online. I started communicating with some of my old classmates, and we had frequent conversations reminiscing about the "old times".

I fell in love.
There was one fine lady that I loved chatting with online. We went to the same primary school and lost touch after high school. It was always great talking to her. We started chatting once a day in the evenings, and then our conversations became increasingly frequent, sometimes until late at night. I felt a real and deep connection with her, and at some point, I was convinced that I was falling in love with her! She was always very kind with her responses, but it didn't feel like we were in the same place emotionally. I convinced myself that I needed to give her more time so she felt the same way about me as I did about her.

The Friend Zone
It was unbelievable that I was falling in love with someone on social media. Who does that? One day, I decided to be brave and told her I was falling in love with her. That statement was the beginning of my heartbreak. She went silent all day. The feeling I had that day was one of the worst I have experienced. I constantly felt nauseated because of all the anxiety and wondered why she was not replying to my message. Later in the night, I heard my phone beep, and when I checked, it was a message from her. My heartbreak got worse as I read that message. She told me she was sorry she did not feel the same way but liked talking to me, and we could continue being friends. I cried that night for the first time in a long time and wondered why she would not feel the same way I did, yet we seemed to have had a deep connection. After her response, I went offline for a few days to process what had happened. I went back online days later.

Life goes on
I replied to her message, telling her that I understood. It was hard, but then again, expecting someone to feel the same way I did thoroughly was unbelievable. It was okay that she did not feel the same way, even though it hurt. I have heard of people who found love online, but I was not one of them, and I was okay with that. I believed that my time would come and I would meet the right person who would love me as much as I loved her, and I patiently waited for that day.