Dealing with an abusive partner

If you have ever been physically, emotionally, or sexually abused by your partner, the only way to deal with an abusive partner is to end the relationship as quickly as possible to keep yourself safe.

If you have decided to leave, having a safety plan is very important before things get out of control. 

These tips can help you escape a violent relationship and protect yourself: 

1. Look for names, addresses, and phone contacts of people and places you can turn to for support. 
2. Tell someone you trust and know you need help and why you need it. 
3. Use signals and coded words when communicating with someone you trust. Make sure they are on the same page with you when communicating.  By using a signal, you can ask for help without your partner knowing.
4. Set a time and date to leave the relationship. It is important to tell someone you trust about your plans. 
5. Pick a safe place to go when you leave the relationship. Tell someone you trust about where you intend to go. 
6. Pack only the necessary things that you need in advance and keep your bag in a safe place where your partner cannot see or access it.  
7. Document all the abuses. Hold on to the texts, emails, messages, call records that show abuse and save them in a safe place. You can even take photos of all the injuries and keep track of all the incidents. Documenting abuse is important in case you need to report the person or show someone. Keep all the records in a safe place. 
8. Protect your privacy by changing the passwords of all your devices, bank accounts, and social media accounts. You may also consider blocking your partner online if they are harassing you. 
9. Leave when your partner is not around for your own safety. 
10. Contact emergency services if you feel your life is in danger 
11. Create both physical and emotional space between you and your partner when you leave. 

Remember: 

If you are experiencing violence or abuse, you are not obliged to stay with your partner. 

You can leave if you feel like leaving. 

Having a safety plan will keep you safe and help you get the support that you really need.