How to get help if you are in an abusive relationship.

Acknowledging that you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship is already a big step forward. 

Many people spend months or even years of their lives in unhealthy relationships without realizing that what they are going through is not right and they deserve better treatment

As soon as you decided that your relationship is abusive or intolerable, it’s important to do something about it immediately.

Unhealthy or abusive behaviors do not change unless both partners take action. 

Taking action can be tough. Often, by the time people realize they are in an abusive relationship, their partners have already managed to put them down so much that the victims no longer have the willpower to protest

To regain the strength to break free, you need to realize that many of the things your partner has told you- for instance, that you aren’t worth much, or that you could never make it on your own- are lies. 

But opening your eyes to lies that you have heard again and again is not easy, especially if you have to do it by yourself. 

Know that it doesn’t have to be that way. If something in your relationship doesn’t feel right, don’t just rely on what you have been told and accept it. 

Instead, reach out for help and counseling. Talk with somebody more experienced than you- a trusted adult, teacher, professional counselor, or a member of a support group. Explain what you are going through and ask for advice.

Once you have cleared your mind and you feel ready to act, you have three options: 

1. Talk directly with your partner about the aspects of your relationship that need to change. 
2. Seek professional help. An experienced professional can provide honest and unbiased guidance on what to do. 
3. End the relationship and move on with your life. 

You should consider options 1 and 2 only if you have reason to believe that it is possible to have a mature discussion about the issues with your partner and you feel hopeful about his or her willingness to listen and work on improving your relationship. 

If this is not the case, or if you have a discussion but do not see any sign of progress, don’t waste any more time and energy. Just say goodbye and move on

If you have a reason to believe that your partner might hurt you if you leave him or her, take some precautions before communicating your decision to end the relationship.

Discuss the situation with a trusted adult such as a parent, a relative, a teacher, or a counselor. 

You are not alone. People who know and understand what you are going through are ready to help you- all you need to do is ask.