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Is It LOVE, or LUST?

What is lust? 

Lust is when you are drawn to someone based solely on physical and sexual attraction. You are filled with sexual desires that don’t stop. You basically have sex in the brain. 

When you are lusting after someone, you are more focused on sexual aspects than you are on building a relationship. 

Lust tends to get a bad reputation, but it is extremely common. Everyone feels a sense of lust from time to time throughout their life, so do not worry if your relationship has its signs.

Here are some of the possible characteristics of lust:

  • You only think about sexual desires
  • Unhealthy behaviors like lying, pretending to be someone you’re not, and exaggerating the truth  are common in your relationship
  • You don't want to build a connection

What is love? 

Love is a very strong feeling that people can feel for a variety of others including family members and people you are attracted to romantically or sexually. 

People cannot control who they have feelings of love for just like they cannot control who they find sexually and romantically attractive. But people can make decisions about their behaviors including if and how they show their feelings. 

There are lots of ways a person can show their love for another person including, hugging, kissing, doing nice things for them, and telling them you love them. 

When someone cares deeply about another person and also feels attracted to that person, they may be feeling romantic love. 

Some people choose to be intimate with the person they feel romantic love for but it is important to note that having sex does not always mean that two people have romantic love for each other. 

The feeling of love can cause a person's palm to get sweaty, have "butterflies" in the stomach, your pulse might get quicker and they might feel nervous though excited 

The feeling of being in love is great when it is mutual, but if the feeling is not mutual, it can be hard to handle! When this happens to you, do not worry! Another person will eventually come along who will be interested in you. 

Some people might say they love you and still treat you or make you feel bad about yourself. This is not healthy love. Love should never be used as an excuse for treating another person disrespectfully 

People who feel real love for one another treat each other with kindness and respect. 

For your feelings to be considered love, consider the following characteristics of love:

  • Undeniable attraction towards the other person. 
  • You're willing to give more than take.
  • You develop a deep connection.
  • There is a clear lack of judgment towards the other person.
  • You're always willing to support the other person.

Look into your relationship and try to see where your emotional connection is stemming from. 

If your feelings are about sexual attraction or future ideals, you're likely falling into lust. 

If your feelings are built on a solid relationship that you've put work into, you're likely falling in love.

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