Love and Communication- CLEOPHAS 20 YEARS
“You have no idea what is going on with them.”
Have you ever been with someone and felt like you had no idea what was going on with them, and then you heard about your shortcomings in the relationship from other people? That was my situation several months ago.
“Nothing’s wrong, and other tales.”
This girl would give me the silent treatment all day and all night, and when I asked her what was wrong, she would respond by saying there was nothing wrong. Then, finally, we would go to sleep with our backs facing each other, and even then, I would keep asking if there was anything I did or anything she needed me to do so that she could feel better or act better, and still, she insisted that there was nothing wrong and would go to sleep.
“The Formidable Silent Treatment”
The next day someone would come and tell me that they heard I wronged her, which would be the first I would hear of it. Was I supposed to do something for her, and I didn’t? Is that why she was mad? She could be on her period, for example, or just be having a bad day, and it was my responsibility as her boyfriend to get her comfort food, snacks, and painkillers. I have no problem with all this, but I didn’t track her period. It would have been much more helpful if she had let me know what she needed from me instead of allowing me to guess or think she needed something. When I take her to a place she doesn’t like, she won’t even eat and then becomes so mad and does not talk to me for the rest of the time. Finally, we would go back home, and she would plug in her earphones and be in her world.
“Everyone Knows Except Me”
I tried my best to understand her, but I got to a point where I was tired of asking the same questions every day. It was even worse because she would tell her friends, who were also my friends, how I was selfish and inconsiderate, yet she was the one who barely communicated and told me what she wanted.
“I am Tired.”
I got tired of playing guessing games and feeling like a terrible person while I always tried my best to be there for her, to create quality time for us, and to build our relationship. So one day, I just told her that I could not do the relationship anymore and that maybe she would get someone else who understood her better than me.
It was honestly such a relief when we broke up because I was no longer struggling to figure out what another person was thinking, yet I always asked, and they did not tell me. So nobody deserves a relationship with inferior communication. That’s toxic.