My partner text or calls me a gazillion times a day. Is it abuse

Flooding you with texts and calls is clearly not a healthy behavior but whether it constitutes abuse depends on the nature of messages and what your partner is trying to achieve with them. 

All these messages and calls might be a sign that your partner is obsessed with you and is desperately trying to be with you at all times. If that is the case, then the constant messaging would be considered stalking. 

Alternatively, the messages might be a way to exercise control over you. By sending you tons of texts and implicitly forcing you to read and answer them, your partner might be trying to control every moment of your life.

It is a way of constantly monitoring what you do, where you are, and who you are with. 

This intrusion in your life has the double effect of maintaining a constant link between you and your partner while undermining any meaningful relationship you have.

Such behavior is definitely abusive. 

As a general rule, you shouldn’t accept this kind of invasion from anybody be it partners, friends, or even family members 

In a healthy relationship, people trust each other and don’t try to monitor each other’s activities. 

Love is not measured by the number of calls or texts your partner sends you each day. 

Being in a relationship should be about enriching each other’s lives, not about giving up the right to have time for yourself or to enjoy uninterrupted time with other people.