My partner wants to access my phone, Facebook and WhatsApp. Is this abuse?

If your partner accesses your private information, this is clearly unhealthy.

Whether it constitutes abuse depends on the means your partner is using to gain access to your data and how he or she is using that information

If your partner is putting pressure on you and constantly asking to access your information, but his or her requests never become aggressive or intimidating, then you are the victim of harassment but you cannot call it abuse. 

On the other hand, if your partner is using extreme verbal pressure or blackmailing or threatening you, then you are definitely being abused. 

The same is true if your partner is using the ability to access your information as a way to control you by monitoring and manipulating your communication with others

Being in a relationship shouldn’t mean giving up your privacy. In a healthy relationship, partners trust each other and respect each other’s privacy. 

If you resist your partner’s request- and you should- he or she might try to make you feel guilty by saying that if you have nothing to hide, you should have no reason to deny access. 

Please don’t fall into this kind of trap. It is an attempt to manipulate you

You can play the same game by replying that if your partner trusts you, there is no need for him or her to access your private information. 

Add that if your partner doesn’t trust you, that is the issue you should be discussing.