Curiosity led to First sex - Linda

Why are kids talking about sex?

I was permanently excluded from talks about sex in high school because my classmates thought I always asked so many questions about things that were noticeable. Between form 3 and form 4, almost everyone knew about sex and what to do; some people had even done it or knew someone who had done it more than once. If you were from a village like mine, you would not know about sex because those were conversations that only married adults should have. Why are kids talking about sex? How were girls young as me in high school so knowledgeable about this? I was tired of being the girl who everyone ignored when it came to these conversations, and they dismissed me, saying, " achana na huyo ni mshamba."

The Decision

During the December holidays, I said sex would no longer be a mystery. I also wanted to know what my classmates were talking about. I was not going to form 4 without having sex. Do you know how many celebrations there are in December? That is how I met someone who I decided to have sex with.

Consent First

He was not a stranger, a student like me, but he had already finished high school and was waiting to join the university. We met and frequently talked since he lived close by. One day, I told him I had been hearing a lot about sex and would like to try it. At least I knew it needed a boy and a girl from those conversations, so I asked him if he would be willing to do this. He was shocked that I requested it but agreed and told me to go to their place the following day, when he would be alone.

"Now you have had sex"

The next day I went to know what this sexual thing was all about. We got undressed. He then took a condom from a bag under his bed and put it on. In my head, I was taking notes on the process and did not think about what was going on. It lasted less than 2 minutes, and I kept asking myself, "That's it?" Finally, he declared, "Now you have had sex," smiling confidentlyand looking very proud. He asked how I felt, and I just responded that it was okay. Then we discussed whether he had done it before. He said yes about two or three times. I put my clothes back on and left, and now I knew what sex was and could throw myself in the middle of those conversations the girls had in school.

An Experienced Woman

When schools reopened, I happily told everyone I had sex with a boy during the holidays and when they did not believe me. When I realized they did not believe me, I described the whole process to them and left their mouths open in shock. Do you know what I learned? Most of them were talking about sex. Maybe only one or two people had done it for real. So I had to lie again and say that I knew all this about sex from research and asking my friends back home who were in university about their experiences.

The Realization

I had sex out of curiosity and the fear of being left out of such a juicy conversation. I am glad we used that condom; otherwise, I would have been another pregnant teenager and had to do her national examinations in the maternity ward like the girls I see on TV. Imagine that! I learnt that my life is not a testing kit its real there is no room for tiral around here.