My first time sex, I got Pregnant - ALICIA 19

My freedom

I come from a small town where everyone knows everyone, so I was always on my best behaviour while at home. I also went to a boarding school for high school, so I was either at home or school. After I finished high school, I joined a university far from home, so I had a lot of freedom. University life is so different from how people dress to how they behave. The parties were wild, and I was already part of this culture in no time. The freedom was great; I could do whatever I wanted without questions from my parents.

Pulling out

I got a boyfriend a few weeks in, and he was already talking about sex. Everyone talks about sex in university. I felt out of place because I had never had sex before. All my friends had done it a million times, so I decided to give in to the peer pressure and do it. I told my boyfriend I was ready and we planned a “special night” for this at his place. My friends made sex sound easy and smooth, but I initially experienced a bit of pain and discomfort when he inserted his penis into my vagina. I guess that happened since it was my first time. My boyfriend also told me it would be less painful if we did not use protection, and he said he would pull out. I did not know much about sex. I let him take the lead and believed him.

“I had sex for the first time and got pregnant.”

I missed my next period and told myself to chill. I went online and researched first-time sex delay periods to give myself hope. Later I started feeling slightly unwell and went to the hospital, only to discover I was pregnant! I was shocked! The pulling out did not work. I felt like my whole life has ended. What was I thinking? I told my boyfriend, and he told me I had to get rid of it. I did not want to do that, so he started ghosting me. I had sex for the first time, and I got pregnant.

Facing my parents

I had to face my parents and tell them what had happened. They were furious initially, but they accepted my pregnancy later. I deferred from school for a year, carried the pregnancy to term and delivered a healthy baby. Afterwards, when my baby was about six months old, I returned to school while my parents supported me in caring for my child. I will forever be grateful to them for this.

Chasing dreams

I am in my final year of university, and I cannot wait to get out there and make my parents and baby proud. But, unfortunately, I learnt that unplanned pregnancy is an obstacle when it happens as you are studying. Still, with support from friends and family, one can continue their education after having their baby and continue chasing their dreams. 

It was all avoidable.

I have been learning more and more that it could have been avoidable. If we had just talked seriously about how we needed to be safe and sure, then all of this would not have happened. I do not regret having my baby, but I could have been safer.