Bouncing Back- Shelby 24

…That created a weird dynamic in our friendship

So, I met this girl when I was 10 years old. We had many years of friendship but she started treating me differently as we grew older. We had different personalities but she always tried to copy me. She did the same activities that I did, and that created a weird dynamic in our friendship.

Unapologetic and unmoved

Besides that, in every fight we had she never apologized. She was super proud. I was the one who always had to run after her no matter what happened, and that made me feel awful. We studied separately for a while, but when we were about 17 years old, she moved to my school. This whole period was marked by constant fights, not only between us, but with my other friends too, which had not been happening prior to her arrival. 

The odd one out

When we ended up fighting, she would get the other girls against me. She always had to be the center of the group, and when that did not happen, she got very angry. When we were in form three we had our worst fight. We had a group of friends in common. She started spreading several lies and making up stories about me to them. It was a horrible phase of my life in which I constantly felt humiliated, as if I was the worst person in the world, even though I had done nothing. I became the target of cursing by the whole group.

The move

After that, I finally decided to cut any kind of relationship with her, and obviously she did not run after me to apologize. But it got even worse because she started to exclude me in our group of school friends, going out with all of them and leaving me completely out. The following year, I changed schools and it was the best thing that had happened to me in a while. I got completely detached from her and rarely met with her.

Resilience at last

After it was over, I felt a lot of sadness at first, but it was also a relief to have gotten rid of this situation. I reached out to the school counselor who helped me to work through the loss and accept the reality. It was not an easy journey but I managed it. I learnt that everyone does not have to necessarily love you, and it is a bold step to walk away from a relationship that is hurting you because that is a toxic relationship. When someone constantly makes you feel about yourself and you are constantly at logger heads, this might be an indication of a toxic relationship.