Mistakes and accountability in relationships-Trish 20

We really had to work on our relationship to get to where it is now

I have a long-term boyfriend. In fact, we've been dating for many years and now live together. I have been very faithful to him, but there was a time when we were both chasing our goals and had no time for each other. He's a hard worker and has always been. We are both self-employed and go-getters, and we enjoy our life together. But the thing is, we really had to work on our relationship to get to where it is now.

I met this other guy.

I joined a certain youth group, and we interacted with different people, attending events and meetings at nice places and enjoying good food. It seemed like a luxurious lifestyle. People would flirt around, and I started doing the same because I wanted to belong. All of this made me realize that my boyfriend wasn't doing enough, considering how others live their lives here. Then “O” came into the picture. We got really close; he had good looks and treated me well. He took me to nice places, we enjoyed good food, and even gave me money – a sort of "baby girl" treatment.

We were just having fun

Things escalated, and we got intimate, but we used protection. He was a married man, and I knew he loved his wife. We were just having fun. It felt different from my boyfriend and I liked that. It felt much more than what I had experienced with my boyfriend. We got so connected that we eventually had unprotected sex. My boyfriend never suspected anything because I was being careful.

Ch-ch-changes

After a few months, O started becoming distant and eventually changed completely. This left me frustrated, angry and anxious. I even isolated myself because I had convinced myself of a strong connection with him. Later, I discovered that I had contracted an STI, and I knew that O had given it to me. This added more stress, leading me to take a break from my boyfriend. I confronted O, and he physically abused me. In light of this, I chose to leave everything behind and seek medical attention, and once I fully recovered, I planned to tell the truth to my boyfriend. Whatever decision he made, I was willing to accept it.

I decided to come clean.

After seeking medical attention, I needed time to heal physically and emotionally; I also decided to tell my boyfriend the truth about what had happened during that difficult period. I admitted my mistakes, the affair and the resulting STI. The conversation was intense and emotional. I didn't make excuses or try to justify my actions. Instead, I apologized sincerely, taking full responsibility for my choices and the consequences they had brought.

Healing wasn’t easy.

It wasn't an easy road. Trust me, it took time to mend, and forgiveness had to be earned. My boyfriend saw my sincere efforts to change and regain his trust, and as we moved forward, our relationship transformed. We began to prioritize each other and communicate openly while also making time for one another.

Learn from me
My message to young people is that once in a relationship, always be cautious of every decision you make and always take responsibility for your choices and their consequences. Acknowledging mistakes and learning from them is a sign of growth and maturity.