Dating and Navigating Through Relationship- Shem 20

“…I wasn’t very experienced in approaching girls.”

I am a young man of age 20 years and I started dating immediately when I joined the university. On the second day of orientation, I met a young beautiful girl who I assumed was around my age. I initially felt nervous to start a conversation with her since I wasn’t very experienced in approaching girls. However, I started by introducing myself and she was receptive enough to encourage me to continue getting to know her. We ended up having a two-hour conversation that allowed us to familiarize ourselves a bit more with each other.

“A very good start”

After that quality interaction, I invited her to join me for lunch since I wanted to spend more time with her. I had rented a house not too far from the school’s main gate; therefore, we went there for lunch. On our way to the house, we picked up some packed food from a nearby restaurant since cooking delicious meals was not a strength of mine, and I wanted to impress her. I shared with her my dreams and ambitions, as well as the fact that I really enjoyed being around her. Upon further expression of the fact that I would have wanted to get to spend more time and know her some more, she agreed without any hesitation. It felt like I was off to a good start.

“The desire conflicts with the reality”

Now that we had both agreed to be in a relationship, we proceeded to communicate daily, either through phone calls and texting. The initial stage was great until the reality of having to buy data daily made the process of sticking to consistent communication challenging. I needed to distribute the limited amount of allowance I was receiving from my parents to ensure I kept my end of commitment to contacting her every day as well as treating her to lunches to foster our relationship.

“Unforeseeable hurdles”

Another challenge I faced is that I was dating a beautiful girl; therefore, there was attention from other guys on and around campus. Considering we were in our first year and the culture in university is that the senior students tend to be more interested in freshers, which didn’t make the situation any better. This made me feel more pressure. It didn’t matter that she was in a relationship; they still tried to shoot their shot. I tried to put off these encounters and not allow them to affect me, but it was inevitable.

“Bitter but needed lessons”

There were instances where she brought up the fact that she wanted to go out for lunch but I was not capable of meeting this desire since I wasn’t financially stable. After some time, I noticed that there was a drift from her and I felt that I was losing her. It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t meet this need since I was fully dependent on my parents. However painful this reality was, it was a lesson for me on the different dimensions of a relationship and the importance of evaluating my readiness for relationships in the future. I learned that instead of letting the pressure get to me, speaking to my girlfriend and letting her know my limitations and thoughts would have been more beneficial. Also, remember that regardless of the relationship, other people will most probably try to shoot their shot with me or the person I am dating but communicating and trusting my partner would go a longer way than feeling bad about it and checking out of the relationship.