I am HIV positive and living my best life. - Emma 23

"My stomach has never dropped as far as it did that day."
Let me start by saying my stomach has never dropped as far as it did that day. The day began well. None of this was expected. My then-boyfriend had visited me that day in my hostel room to hang out for the weekend. We were in a long-distance relationship, so things would always get heated when we met in person. He stayed in Nairobi while I schooled in Nakuru, so we agreed to meet at least monthly. He would come with gifts and goodies, including himself, and honestly, this was when we got to have fun.

"I am HIV positive and living my best life."
So, a back story: I am a person born with HIV but proudly living my best and safest life, taking my meds and keeping my viral load undetectable, so there was nothing to worry about. Protected sex would, therefore, protect him as much as it would do me.  

"Hot and heavy."
Little did we know that what we termed as protection would be the key to my forcefully first unprotected sexual experience. Two and two summed up to our clothes on the ground, and a hot round of intimacy commenced. As usual, he would take out a condom and wear it before proceeding, making us feel safe. It was going well, and I enjoyed being with each other. As we progressed, something felt different. We both realized that the condom was not there anymore. 

"We began to panic."
 The whole mood shifted immediately. We both began panicking about how I could get pregnant and infect him with HIV. We decided to take a shower and try to sleep through the night. We woke up early the next day to get emergency pills and PEP for my boyfriend, just to be safe. Safe to say, we both were lucky that time but promised each other to be more careful. 

"Our lesson was."
We would always have many condoms on hand in case of a condom bursting. We also decided that he could also start taking PrEP as a precaution. And that I would start taking contraception. I'm glad we are taking these precautions and that we are in this together. It is for sure better to be safe than sorry.