I am more Informed About HIV - Cathy 19

He was just as I expected him to be

This is my love story that began with a text and ended without a word. I fell in love with this boy, and he fell in love with me. I met him on Instagram. He was just as I expected him to be: handsome, intelligent and funny. We clicked immediately, and we were engaged within a year. It was now time for us to get married, and we had to introduce each other to our parents and receive their blessings since we had kept our relationship a secret. By this time, I was already pregnant and had no option but to inform my parents about the pregnancy. 

Antennal care clinic

I had already started going to my antennal clinic. On this particular visit to the clinic, I was supposed to have an HIV test done. To my surprise, the test came out positive, and I was confused for a minute, thinking there was a mistake with the results. Accepting it was hard, but I had to deal with the reality. I returned home to the clinic with my boyfriend the following day to know our HIV status. The nurse came and did the test for us, and that's when I knew I was the only one affected by the virus. Where would I have contracted it? He became stressed out even though we got counselling. He could not believe that I was HIV positive and needed time just to be alone. I became confused because I was unsure if I should follow him or return home. That's when I found myself alone, not knowing what to do or where I should go.

My Family

I did not know how things would be since I had to inform our parents about my status. I wished the ground could open up and swallow me. Since I was ashamed, I wanted to run away, but where would I go? I locked myself indoors, not wanting to meet face-to-face with anyone. Doing my things became challenging and complex when my family started to distance itself from me. I used to have my cup and plate that I used. I felt stigmatized.

Seeking treatment

I became ill and started going for my medication. It became difficult taking my ARVs, and sometimes I would skip them even for a week before retaking them. On one visit, I was called to the adherence counsellor's room. That’s where I found “Shosh Pet”, aliyenipa ushauri nasaha maana tayari stigma ilikua ishanitanda na virusi tayari vishanitafuna mpaka sijielewi. I was asked how I took my medication and if I had challenges. I poured out my heart to her, and the following day she came to visit and met my parents. They talked about my health and how I could be supported and informed me more about HIV. They were sorry and felt wrong about how they had treated me.

Support group

I joined a support group where I got support and improved my adherence. As time went by, my relationship with my family improved. Everyone was willing to listen and offer support. I made new friends from the support group, shared our experiences, and got information on HIV.

Standing against stigma

It was an experience that I would not like anyone else to go through, maana maisha ya kunywa dawa kila siku si raha. Now am more informed about HIV, and I volunteer as a peer educator to educate my peers. I would not tell you to abstain, but using a condom or knowing your status and your partner is essential in a relationship. Stay safe.