My fears and hopes on finding love- Wesh

“Kind, friendly and accepting of me.”

I’m Wesh, aged 31 years and I am living with a physical disability. I was diagnosed with polio at the age of 7 years, which affected my lower limbs. I was raised in a community and a school that was kind, friendly and accepting of me.

“Is love a possibility for me?”

The desire to love and be loved is something I experienced like everyone else. Growing up, I always dreamed of getting married, having children and living out our days in wedded bliss. Although marriage and family are never a certainty for anyone, having a physical disability can make achieving this goal more difficult. I used to desire and admire a family full of love, but as a person with a disability, I feared rejection, stigmatization and hatred from ladies.

“My first attempt at love”

When I was in high school, I didn’t have a challenging time since my fellow schoolmates were kind enough to help by washing my clothes. As more interaction took place with students, I developed an attraction for one girl who was also attracted to me. However, due to low self-esteem and insecurities around my disability, I thought I wouldn’t be able to make her happy like other guys. Therefore, I didn’t pursue anything with her, which broke her heart.

“A second chance?”

After joining college, upon self-reflection, I acknowledged that my disability was a condition that is permanent, which meant I needed to change my perspective. I chose to develop self-love and positive thinking and started developing a positive attitude towards life and how I fit into it. I ended up dating someone with no disability from school. We shared ideas, had fun and I’d even sing to her. This boosted my self-esteem, which encouraged me to stay on the path of implementing a positive attitude. Like everyone else, I wanted someone to care and value me and I experienced this.

“My reality of a life with love”

We later got engaged and our relationship for the past two years has been sweet and enjoyable. It has taken understanding and respect for each other. I love how she compassionately cares for me when I face challenges with my disability; while at the same time encouraging me to let my independence shine. She has helped me become a better version of myself and I hope I have helped her do the same. Despite being disabled, I have purposed to show love, care and support her in the things that she values. My condition does not deter me from how I do my activities; in bed or otherwise. Having a disability does not mean that one cannot love, nor does it mean they don’t long to be loved. Persons with disabilities desire relationships, too and meaningful, fulfilling relationships at that.