No Trust, No Love- Robert 20

'I had to let her go!'

Last year I decided to get out of a relationship even though I loved this girl so much. I thought we would even get married after graduating, but she was stressing me out with her behaviour. So I had just to let her go.

She did not trust me, yet I never did anything to make her doubt me. I did not flirt or be inappropriate with other girls, but I still got the heat. I would sometimes hang out with the guys, play video games all day, and go back to my place in the evening and since she had a key, I would find her there, ready to jump at me with all the accusations she had made up when I was away. She would start shouting and throwing things and calling me names. 

“She was sweet when she was not being dramatic.”

It was all so embarrassing. At one point or another, all my neighbours asked me why I was with someone like her. My friends said they had stopped trying to understand me and this relationship. She was sweet when she was not being dramatic. She was fun, supportive and good at thinking through problems and finding solutions, but when she was pissed off, she was pissed off. But that was once in a while, and I thought I could live with it initially, but with time it was too much.

“Ghosting”

I was scared of telling her I wanted to end the relationship, so I started ghosting her slowly. I avoided places where she frequented, I did not block her, but I did not respond to her calls and messages. She blew up my phone with calls and texts, and WhatsApp messages. It was a cycle of insulting me and apologizing. This went on for a few days until I finally resurfaced and told her that I had been thinking about our relationship and wanted to end it because it was draining me mentally and explained to her how exactly her actions were draining me.

The breakup

She cried and apologized, but I had already decided to end the relationship to protect my mental health. It was not easy, but that relationship stressed me out a lot. Thankfully we were going on holiday the next week, and once we resumed school, she seemed to have healed and moved on. We still talk, we are civil in our interaction, and I am taking a break from relationships for a while.

Moving forward

This relationship taught me many things, but the most important one is that relationships should not stress you out. I know that people disagree, but arguments should never involve physical or verbal abuse between partners. Both partners need to learn how to communicate their needs clearly to each other.