We all deserve love - PhiPhi 20

“It was the first time I felt noticed by a guy.”

About six years ago, at a high school science event, I met him. Actually, he was the one who approached me. I was amazed because he seemed like the perfect guy that every girl dreams of - light skin tone, curly hair, pink lips, tall, masculine, and very intelligent. He won the science congress competition with his impressive project. We had a wonderful chat and it was the first time I felt noticed by a guy.

“My past was rough.”

My teenage years were difficult as I struggled with insecurities such as low self-esteem, low confidence, and facing rejection. I also experienced imposter syndrome. My physical disability and societal barriers made it hard for me to date and the idea of love felt distant and unreachable.

He made me feel magical.

Yan, the guy I met, said sweet words that melted my heart. His reassurance brought down the walls I had built around myself. He claimed to love me from the moment he saw me and assured me that he didn't care about people's opinions about my disability.

Looking out for me or jealousy?

Things progressed quickly, and I became a believer in love and its complexities. We exchanged contacts, but jealousy and envy from my classmates followed us. I lost friends because they warned me about him, saying he was a player or just using me. I ignored their warnings and couldn't understand how my friends turned against me.

I started noticing the red flags.

Yan was my dream man, and being with him made me feel loved and seen. However, he kept our relationship hidden from others. He never walked with me in public or introduced me as his girlfriend. He asked me to wear long dresses to hide my disability. It took courage to admit that I was hurting and needed help to work on myself.

I had to let him go.

As much as I loved him, I had to let him go because I knew I deserved better. I decided to work on rebuilding my confidence and forming new social connections. So to anyone who resonates with my message, disability does not define your ability to love or be loved. You are deserving of love, respect, and a fulfilling relationship just like anyone else. Take your time, trust your instincts, and be open to new possibilities.