Breaking up with your partner

Whether you are the person being broken up with or the person ending the relationship, breakups can be so hurtful but the pain will fade away after some time.

Breaking up can bring up a lot of different emotions but these emotions are normal and common. They include:

• Sadness
• Anger
• Relief
• Denial
• Guilt
• Fear
• Shock
• Loneliness

What might cause a break-up?

People break up for various reasons. Some of them include: 

1. You discover that you like or want different things
2. It feels like the relationship is moving too fast or too slow
3. You both have different expectations of what it should be like in a relationship
4. You’re still discovering who you are and who you want to be
5. You don’t get along very well or the relationship has become unhealthy
6. You don’t feel safe or comfortable

How do I break up?

• Avoid using social media or a text message to break up with someone
• Try to break up with someone face to face or over the phone
• Try not to tell someone who might break the news before you get a chance to tell the other person first
• Choose a time and place that allows both of you the freedom and safety to talk
• Be considerate and treat the other person how you would like to be treated
• It’s important, to be honest, and clear about your reason for breaking up
• Try not to react defensively if the other person is angry or tearful
• Stay true to yourself and your reasons 
• Don’t be swayed by the person’s reaction.
• Avoid posting details about your break up on social media
• Ensure you are in a safe place when breaking up with your partner 

How do I get over a break-up?

Here are a few tips that might help you cope with a painful break-up:

• Open up and talk about it with someone you trust
• Let it out: it is okay to cry if you need to
• Remind yourself that you’re not alone - you can overcome this.
• Surround yourself with people who build you up and who see your strengths.
• Try to learn from the experience.
• Keep busy doing the things you enjoy!
• Take care of yourself and stick to a routine.
• Focus on your positives. Remind yourself of your good qualities.
• Switch off and give yourself some time to heal.
• Let go of the anger you have 

If you need some support coping with a break-up, find a counselor here to talk to. (Link) 

Remember:

• The end of a relationship doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you.
• Most of the time, no one is to blame. It is just that the relationship didn't work out.
• It can take time and practice to find a relationship that works for you.
• It doesn’t matter who you are or how old you are, it’s never easy to deal with the feelings and thoughts following a break up with someone you care about.