My partner still talks to their ex

My partner still talks to their ex

When you break up with someone, you may both prefer not to stay in touch with each other. But sometimes you might decide to stay in touch or even remain good friends after a break-up. 

While there is nothing wrong with this, you or your new partner might have issues with it and might think you are not over your ex and you are staying in touch as a way of keeping your option open. 

If your or their relationship with their ex isn’t appropriate, the best way to avoid tension in your relationship is to talk about it. If you’ve got worries, this will give you a chance to explore them openly. 

When talking with your partner, 

• Set aside some time and space for the talk. Pick a neutral space that is free from distractions. 
• Go in the conversation with an open mind. Make it clear you simply want to discuss something that sometimes causes you concern.
• Don’t do it when you feel frustrated, upset, or sad, do it when you are calm and relaxed.  
• Be honest with them when talking. It is important to maintain your cool. Let them know how you feel and how things are affecting you, rather than just going in with accusations and anger.
• Listen actively to what your partner has to say. Don’t criticize them. The only way to truly understand each other is to properly engage
• You also need to understand people are different. Some people don’t talk to their ex while others do because of other factors such as having a child together with them. 
• Consider having a time out or break if things get hot to avoid things getting out of control.
• Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, the best result is a negotiated compromise. If you aren’t going to agree, you may need to find a level that’s somewhere between the two of you.