Eunice 20: HIV Testing, Leads to Stress and Anxiety

“I am tired of life and want to Die”

I am tired of life, I want to die. These were common phrases I used to profess. I am in a relationship with her boyfriend for six months, but broke up recently when I realized my boyfriend was HIV positive and had not disclosed his status to me. I had trusted him to the point where we were having unprotected sex and now thought that he had infected me.

Visit to the Hospital

One day, I went to the VCT for testing and shared my story with one of the counsellors who told me in Swahili “Kuja tukupime halafu uanze kunywa madawa haraka. Nyinyi watoto wa siku hizi mko na tabia mbaya sana.” The counselor’s insensitive attitude and judgmental words greatly discouraged me and I resorted to leaving the vicinity without being tested. I am now reluctant to get tested and fears what the result might be.

My Agony

After finding out my ex-boyfriend’s status, I locked myself in my room, and did not eat or take a shower for two weeks. My aunt, anxious about me, tried to ask me what the matter was but her efforts were in vain. This was due to the fact that my aunt’s best friend had recently passed away due to AIDS related complications and when my aunt realized that her best friend was living with HIV, she stopped going to hospital to see her. As if this was not enough, her friend’s condition angered her greatly, she talked ill about her and did not attend her burial.

My Lucky Days

Based on the experience, I knew I could not share with my aunt. So, one day, as I was online googling counselling services, I bumped into 1190 and decided to call. One counselor picked the phone and was able to take me through the counselling journey until I felt hopeful and managed to brace myself to go test my status. Luckily enough, I was HIV negative. I purposed to inform my friends about the importance of responsible living which included engaging in safe sex.