Hope and Light after Loss and Rejection- Tammy 23

“I lived under immense fear and humiliation.”

My story dates back to 2012, when I lost my parents in a tragic road accident. Soon after the burial, my uncles took over every property and threw me out. I lived under immense fear and humiliation from relatives and friends and lost my two sisters under unclear circumstances. Left alone, I had to find means of survival in every way; I collected and sold scrap, did manual jobs to survive, and got a job as a house help. One day as I was cleaning the compound, I was lured by one of the boss’ sons, who raped me. He threatened to kill me if I told anybody about it. It became a habit for him to rape me every day and threaten me with a knife in case I screamed or failed to comply. Because of too much fear and self-stigmatization, I ran away to the streets. My way of survival was through handouts from well-wishers for quite some time.

Good Samaritan, or so I thought

I became an alcoholic and started having many health issues, only to realize I was HIV+ after a good Samaritan took me to the hospital. He empathized with me and took me to stay with him. He promised to take good care of me and instead got different men to sleep with me in exchange for money which was dehumanizing. Every time I declined his offers, he tortured me and was extremely hateful. I did all sorts of hard labour at times without food and sometimes slept out in the cold.

Life in the streets

Life became very unbearable that I ironically had to move back to the streets. Unfortunately, COVID-19 hit, and due to the strict lockdown measures, I was constantly being arrested and released by the police for idling and roaming. My health deteriorated, and life really got so bad that I chose to walk back to my village to ask for a place to stay. All my pleas fell on deaf ears, which forced me to go back to the streets of Nairobi and continue seeking survival. Hunger and starvation became my daily bread, and I was taken advantage of by street kids and taxi drivers.

The Turning Point

Seeking God and believing that something good would happen kept me going. As I was begging, an actual good Samaritan lowered his car mirror, and when I saw him calling me, I decided to agree because I was desperate. I was already expecting the worst treatment when my surprise, he wanted to know more about me and took his time to listen to the story of my life. This was the turning point in my life. This person decided to rent a house and take me to a psychiatrist for my mental health. It has been a hard journey, and I still find myself remembering my life and getting sad, but with all the support from my psychiatrist and the good Samaritan and now friend, I know I will be okay. I also thank God for keeping me alive and walking with me. My life has never been the same again.