I lost my self Esteem - Max 21

I loved her more every day

My name is Max, and I was once in love with a girl named Emily. She was beautiful, intelligent, and had a smile that lit up the room. So one day I gathered the courage to ask her for a date and she said yes! The first date went great, so we planned and went on more dates after the first one. I loved her more every day.

After some time, I noticed that Emily started drifting away from me slowly by slowly. I asked her what was happening, and she told me that she did not see a future where we were together and needed to break up. I felt so bad when she told me this, especially because from my point of view, I had put in a lot of time and effort to impress her and make her happy, so it was devastating to experience this kind of rejection. It is not easy to lose something I considered so important and meaningful. I started thinking about what I could have done for Emily to say that she saw no future for us. Did I upset her? Was I not good enough for her?

I was fake, and she broke up with me

I took time to think about the relationship and realized that I had not been authentic, possibly contributing to why my relationship ended. For example, I exaggerated my interest when Emily mentioned that she loved hiking. I pretended that I went on frequent hikes when I had only been on a few hikes in my life and didn't enjoy it as much as she did.

 I felt intimidated by her social circle and I always tried to be more outgoing and talkative around them. Instead, I found myself saying things I didn't mean and pretending to be interested in topics that didn’t interest me, just to fit in. I downplayed my hobbies and interests such as playing video games because I thought they weren't cool or interesting enough for someone like Emily.

I also realized that I didn't speak up when I disagreed with Emily or when something bothered me. When Emily commented that I disagreed, I did not share my opinion because I was afraid it would cause conflict or upset her. I was not being authentic to myself.

Finding myself again

Because of being inauthentic, I had lost sight of who I was and what made me unique, so Emily did not know the real me. I realized that I needed to make a change. I started pursuing my interests again and stopped trying to be someone I was not. I started embracing my true self and found that it made me happier and attracted people who knew the real me, I did not have to pretend.

 I didn't need someone else to complete me; the relationships I formed were meant to enhance my life, not define it. I didn't want to change Emily's mind or win her back. Instead, I wanted to use my experience to help others with the same issues.

Making a positive impact

 I started volunteering at a local youth center, encouraging people to be true to themselves. I also started contributing to blogs where people shared their journey and offered advice to those struggling with similar issues, and I found that I was making a positive impact on people's lives.

Feeling rejected by someone you love can be a painful experience, but it can also be a learning point. By being true to myself again after the break up, I began to feel a sense of liberation and freedom. I realized I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't to be loved and accepted.