My redemption story - Chebet 23

“…rejection and isolation…”

My name is Chebet, and I am 23 years old. I became a mother when I was 15 and then became depressed, due to rejection and isolation. My parents chased me away after getting pregnant with a man they didn’t expect me to have an affair with. The father of my child also ran away after finding out I was pregnant. I never saw him, never again. A man whom I knew nothing about, even his family history, I knew nothing about him, only his nickname and that he used to work for my parents. My parents were well-known people in society, and their reputation was at stake after what I had done.

Living on the Streets

My journey towards comeback has been a piece of hell, I have tried harming myself by taking to drink poison to terminate my unborn child, and I failed. I wanted to end my life; I was cracking, breaking apart, and I felt like I did not matter. I slept in different places daily, my stomach still growing, and I had no medication and nobody to look after me. I stopped my education because of my pregnancy. I was walking around town homeless already, men took advantage of me, and I hated my life. Oh! The street wasn't safe for me and my unborn child. I ate dirty food, tore clothes, and looked horrible. 

I gave birth in the streets, this day was intense, and from then, my journey of redemption started. All thanks to a stranger. A woman stranger helped me and my baby during delivery day. I remember thinking how thin, emaciated and tired I looked.  

I am Enough

Besides going through all this am grateful to be alive today, many times I look at my daughter, and I see every reason to stay alive; my child has been my motivation; every time I have a breakdown, I feel as if I can't live for myself, I will live for my child. She has me for a mother and a father, and I am enough.

Release and Support

I have also learned to cry and release the pressure and stress from my mind. I have cried many times to shoulders that I have trusted. The power of the right friendship is very important towards coping with all the dark thoughts. My friends have also helped me out during my hard times. Church has also been helpful; it made me a prayer warrior, I have learnt to live in the present and to forgive. I forgave my parents and my baby daddy. Being a Christian has made me believe that there is always an untapped version of me that is yet to come. I pray for my life and the life of my daughter and family, which I adore so much. Being a believer in my faith made me free of hatred and resentment.

Reclaiming myself

Now, being an empowered woman, I understand that I matter. I have access to things that I couldn’t imagine when I was on the streets. I prioritize myself and my self-care. I have also gone through therapy to process the things I have experienced. I have been able to understand myself and what I want and need. I have also learned it's very okay to have a therapist.

My Two Cents

To all who have problems coping with suicidal thoughts, please find help from people you trust and love; even a therapist will do great. The process will be hard, but it is worth it. You will grow in the process, and you will be happy.