Peer pressure and sex-Tim 23

“I had a girlfriend, and she was ready to have sex…” 

I have experienced peer pressure at different points in my life and I think I handled these situations well and managed to get out of doing things that I was not comfortable with without making my friends feel like I was not fully part of the friendship group. Things like getting back home late, attending late-night parties and sneaking out of home were some of the things I would not do because I respected the boundaries that my parents had set. I struggled with the sex conversation because I had a girlfriend and she was ready to have sex, but I wasn’t. My girlfriend never pressured me to have sex, she just said that she was ready for it whenever I was ready, but my friends were always asking me if we were having sex. 

The odd one out. 

I always dodged that question because it was embarrassing to say, “no, I am not having sex.” All my friends were actually sexually active and when we hung out, these talks came up. Sometimes it was about how the condoms were finished and someone had to go and buy more, or about who should be carrying condoms, which condoms are better and stuff like that. One thing about my friends is that they use protection because we were all taught the importance of this. I was tired of hearing these stories and being the odd one out. 

Ready to have sex. 

I met up with my girlfriend one weekend and told her that I was ready to have sex with her even though I was lying. We had sex anyway, but I was low-key nervous because I was thinking about things like the condom bursting, poorly performing during sex and many other what-ifs. Everything went well, and despite having sex because of peer pressure from my friends, I did not have any regrets. I am glad that we used protection so we were not scared about pregnancy, but I still think the experience would have been much better if I was fully ready to have sex at that time.  

Have sex when ready. 

Even after having sex, I still did not want to tell my friends what had happened and I just let them believe that I was the only one who wasn’t sexually active in the group because I did not want them to know that their stories gave me pressure to have sex. My message to everyone who might be in a position similar to mine is to have sex when you are ready.